


Reminisce Until the Return

by Lilyanatos



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 11:46:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15412218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilyanatos/pseuds/Lilyanatos





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mezzogal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mezzogal/gifts).



Dreams we something Merlin seemed to be having alot more lately. Or rather maybe it was that he was having memories run though his head. If he was anyone else he would have been thinking that something was wrong with him. At least in this day and age anyways. However, the hermit that he was it didn't matter. Merlin had been given the time to see the world and perhaps he was just a little done with how long he had to wait. After all it was so many years. He shook his head off after waking from another one of those dreams. At least it wasn't like he was waking in a world he had no idea he was waking up in or was he. Everything seemed so convoluted lately. Oh how he wished that it was back in the days of Kings and Queens and Dragons and Magic. He shook his head again and tried to focus on what was going on around him or what time of day that it was. Little did he know that he was about to have an adventure of a life time or perhaps an adventure down memory lane. Perhaps it was because at the moment it wasn't Merlin himself who was awake but Emrys. However, that would be interesting because it didn't feel like Emrys was the one that was in control at least not at the moment. 

The moment that Merlin's eyes finally adjusted to the bright sunlight he realized that something much be a bit off. Or perhaps he was not sure what was going on just yet but the dreams of the night before had kept him paralyzed to his bed. Things he had not seen had not even imagined plauged his mind. At his door though there was a knock and he blinked. "Merlin, you are waking later or is that because the sun is up sooner than you?" The voice of Morgana made its way through the door. "Gaius and Arthur are looking for you and you had better hurry." He could hear her footsteps light as they were. Morgana's voice had put him on edge and he had no clue why this was the case, save perhaps the dream he had just had she had not been the best person in it. It seemed so out of her character but then he wasn't completely sure about that right now either. He shook it off as he dressed and headed out of his room and nearly ran into Gwen. "Sorry Gwen," he said letting his hand go through his slightly unruly hair at the moment. Gwen simply smiled at him as she hurried away to do her duties. He quickly hurried off to his studies with Gaius first as he figured that Arthur was going to be on the way. 

Merlin wasn't wrong as he entered the older man's room after a knock at the door. Arthur stood there eyeing him and Gaius ushered the young Arthur out of the room so that he could talk with Merlin in private. Arthur left with simply a nod and headed for his other duties of the day. They only had so long before Uther would come looking for Gaius and in that right for Merlin to ask questions about his dreams. Gaius looked at him with a smile on his face. "you had another one of those nights. The summer solstice is on its way. The time for many things but also is the time for the world to start dying once again. Tell me where the dreams good or bad?" Merlin thought for a moment as to how he was supposed to be answering that questions but just as he was about to open his mouth a voice entered his head. And it stopped him from opening up his mouth about anything at all as he felt his stomach lurch for some reason. What was going on?

When the feeling stopped before him stood Kilgarah. "Remember what I said so long ago?" Merlin tilted his head but was he Merlin or was he Emrys. Emrys replied to the dragon before him. "The once and future king Arthur will return in Albion's greatest need. Does this mean that it is soon. As your kind have not been in this world in a very long time. "Well that depends as a matter of fact you are the one that is the reason i can still contact you in an age where little believe in what is happening now and would rather believe in the legends and pray for things to change as legends and lore dictate." Merlin at least the older version of him simply nodded his head. And then he was back blinking his eyes but everything around him had changed. His mind was driving him crazy at the moment and he seemed to have taken to hiding from those that were around him.

He took a deep breath trying to center himself and that was when he heard the party going on around him. No one had come looking for him just yet which either meant they had not noticed him or he had yet to enter the party. Everything going on right now was rather odd but he let it slide a few more moments in the shadows and he emerged only to be spotted by Morgana first of all people. She gave him a look as if she were in part watching her pray or in part she was looking for a kindred spirit. She moved over to him and moved them back into the shadows for a moment. "Are you okay?" She questioned him wanting to make sure that he would know exactly what she was asking of him and if he was indeed okay. He smiled at her as if it was just something that was normal. "I am perfectly fine. The music and the dance just got to me is all. How are you on this lovely evening?" He questioned her in return but things quickly changed. As one came up to accuse Morgana of one thing or another. He shook his head because the scene had changed yet again. If he could keep up with this he would be surprised. This time it was Morgana looking at him with pleading eyes and in the dungeon. "Merlin, you are like me you understand me why?" Merlin couldn't give his answer to her as for some reason he just collapsed.


	2. An old man's walk

The world again was noisy all around him there were sounds he could only vaguely remember. He had been doing something in his home. Or rather had he been out trying to walk around in the world that it had become. Part of him was sure that he was now going crazy. He stood back up from the floor of his home and opened up the door. There were roads that lead to his part of the forest now. However, there were still some parts of the forest that had been left alone and it was deep within them that he had decided he was going to go walk around in now. The memories that flooded Merlin now made him wish all the more for the times that were far more simple. For the times when he had Arthur at his side and he was not alone. When he had his own apprentice. His own lover and dreams that did not always coincide with what it was he was supposed to be doing. The Kingdom that he wanted to make and to protect. Camelot a kingdom of wonder to so many in this time. Camelot which had yet to be refound or something like that. It wasn't like it bothered him he still knew where the walls of Camelot stood. The Kingdom he had walked into as a child realizing that his budding talent in magic had to be hidden because otherwise he would end up dead. He tried so hard to stay in the shadows to make sure that no one would find out what was going on. But Morgana had turned it into a game of cat and mouse and musical thrones or was that it was she betrayed everything he tried so hard to build. In the end it wasn't like she was alive anymore but could it be possible she and Mordred could return. The names flitting through his head as he walked made him sigh. He had grown so old and he felt himself alone. Still that was his own fault he kept to himself and if anyone knew he was around they simply called him an old hermit of the forest.

Merlin shook his head as he found that he was heading for a spot that would be busy this time of year. The summer solstice was on its way and many that now followed what was considered the old religion made for the stones at Stonehedge. Merlin himself was heading for those stones to watch the people as they came into the circle and did their rituals. He did not ever join them but some children saw him from time times and he would entertain the children until their parents would call them away asking them who they had been playing with. He did not much like being seen by the older of the world now. They thought him crazy anyways. His clothing either looking old or just out of place for the era. Granted it wasn't like he hadn't tried to change those things from time to time but he was a man set in his ways and there wasn't much that he could actually do to change that. However, in his time he could do so many things. The world however, moved on with them and without his interference. But many knew a story or two of Arthur and many other things. Stories all differed and all were version of a certain truth one could say though the one thing they seemed to get wrong was how in love Arthur and Gwen had been. Just thinking of the two brought a smile to his face. Stories he had heard had her running off with Lancelot and a few other things and it wasn't that the two had not been close it was just not how things were back in his time. He shook it off as he turned to look up at the summer sun. It shone so brightly this year. Perhaps there was something to be said for the way that it shone. Perhaps it was becoming time for him to take another walk to another place. Still it was not something he wanted to do today or at least not right now.

Merlin arrived at the stones and his spot to watch as some of the others were moving to find camping spots. He watched the sun shine on the stones and then he realized that the pull away from the area was getting stronger. It took him long enough to get here but he turned from the stones and headed for another place. A place that seemed to be calling him louder and louder as the sun went higher in the sky. He only hoped that he made it to a safe spot for the call got to strong and caused him to black out or worse and he collapsed for no reason at all and others fused about the old man laying on the ground. He took off as quickly as possible for a man of his seeming age. Oh how he wished he was younger but that was not the case anymore. However, he would do anything to give himself his youthful look once more but only so much could keep the old man running and perhaps that was the reason why the calls back to that place were silent at first and then grew louder and louder. It was possible the return of his King was coming sooner than he had figured it would be. Or perhaps it was coming right on time he had been alone for so long and he really wanted to believe that. The world needed someone or something to remind the people that they could fight and that they could fight for better change. There were only so many people through out the history of the world that could do such things and now everyone seemed more willing to deal in fantasy or try to pretend everything was okay when it was indeed not.

He managed to make it back to his own home before a memory or was it dream overtook him once more and he was thrown back into a time where he and Arthur and the others were in their own right trying to figure out how they were going to continue to build the world the way they wanted it. When he had to hide the magic much like he had too now and a time where it might have been more simple to do so. At least he was home and safe for now. But the calls were getting louder and the memories more vivid.


	3. Life for a life over and over again.

Parties seem to be something of a deadly affair in Camelot. As Merlin awakens again to find himself blinking at the brightness of the day. He looks around him to find out that he had been sleeping for awhile now. Shaking off the thoughts of near death experiences he comes to find himself wondering why things are so quiet. And then realizes he is standing on the banks of the Island of the Blessed and there is a certain amount of both annoyance and hope that he feels in himself. That is until he sees that Gaius' body is there and he knows not how to deal with this. A flash of lightening and then everything is revealed to be just fine and he is in the castle at Camelot once more. His mind playing tricks on him as usual but that is not the case as he is standing there and he hears yet again Gaius tell Morgana that she had nothing to fear of her dreams. There is a sense of dread that comes over him. He knows full well he can no longer keep Morgana in the dark though he has no idea of what may transpire but telling him what actually might happen. He takes off to tell Morgana where she can go. Of course things don't always go as planned. The scene changes again and the woman in front of him makes his eyes go wide and his heart skip so many beats that he simply can not contain himself.

"Freya," his voice is barely a whispers as if something inside of him now understands these are just memories swimming around in his head. "Hello Merlin." She says with a smile on her face happy to see him again. She moves closer to him. "I told you I would find a way to repay your kindness." Merlin looked at her puzzled her a little bit. "The time is coming my dear Merlin. Once again we will be united." His heart beats faster and faster as she speaks. However, a part of him wonders many things all at the same time. "Is this a prophecy in a dream?" He questions her softly as she simply just smiles at her. "You are the Great Merlin. You will figure that out on your own my dear Merlin." He moves in to hug her to do something with her as his heart is still broken and still urns for her companionship for her love but as he finishes hugging her and a kiss is shared she slowly fades away leaving him again standing in the hall of the castle. His heart shattered again into two. The cruelness of memory at times but it was a bitter sweet reunion and something else was calling him yet again. He moved down the stairs to where the Great Dragon was resting and he was sure this was not going to go well. he remembered the last time this was going on he swore he would not go to the dragon again.

A few moments later he was standing there for only a moment til his search comes to an end standing before him is Balinor and Camelot behind him is on fire. As there is dragon that is more than willing to destroy them all. It is not until a few moments later and perhaps without the memory or with the memory knowing what he can do. He is the last dragonlord and he can control the great dragon if only he allows himself to do so before more die to the rage of the dragon. It was his fault after all for enraging the dragon but he has no more time to regret his reactions only the time to save the people that had nothing to do with this. He takes a moment and with a quick thought the fires of camelot die out and the dragon is gone. Or at least that's what is seems like. And the mood shifts to another summer night and the cool breeze making him wonder exactly how he got into the courtyard again. So many things happening so quickly. Hardly enough time to truly figure out what is going on and then the sun's bright rays bring him to the banks in which he is not sure what is to come of this but the feeling in the pit of his stomach as he looks into the lake reminds him just what it is that is to come to pass. Uther is about to die and the Once and Future King is about to make some of the greatest decisions of their time and he needs to be there when it happens. Magic hangs in the balance and it will hang in the balance until everyone realizes it can be used for good as well. 


	4. Hardest thing you will ever half to do.

A coolness strikes his face as if all life has been taken out of him. He sits by the river bank just staring off into space. As if there is no reason to live anymore. But is this a dream or is this reality. For an old man's sake he hopes that it is simply just a memory, or a dream he can never be too sure of that. He shakes his head and he is back in his home. He looks around his little house and packs only what he knows that he will need. If he ever comes back to this place again it will be for another reason he is sure. He just shakes his head as he leave the home or at least the place he has called home. He knows where he must go but it will take him a long walk and perhaps he will stay up right this time. it seems that the worst is yet to come though. There is no worse to him then the loss of Arthur. He takes a moment to steady himself before he makes for the road and the long walk to the banks that will take one to Avalon because it is Avalon and he swears that now it is Arthur calling out to him to come and great him on the banks. As much as a part of him wants that to be true he wonders is the time right or is this something else is there something else that could be going on. The days were long and traveling during the day required he carry enough water so he double checks his pack and satisfied he starts off.

Meanwhile in the back of his mind he was not there on his walk but back on a summers day with Arthur. It was a cool day for a summer's day and the rain through it was light seemed to darken the mood just a little bit. However, there was on shinning star in it all. Gwen looking radiant as ever standing next to Arthur. They had just wed and the couple was blossoming. Arthur seemed more confident in his titled at King because he now had his Queen by his side and his father could say nothing about it. Merlin was there walking by their sides but he was not talking instead opting to let them speak with each other. He would interject should they need him too. Merlin was sure that many things were going through their mind. Betrayal was everywhere he could feel it but there was not many things he could do about it. He was sure that by the end of all of this he was going to have to make decisions he never wanted to make. Then suddenly that cool summer's day faded away and he was left to his own devices and powerless. Powerless because his magic had been stolen from him by another who betrayed Camelot. The time had come and he was no more happy to deal with in then when he had known in advance of its coming in the first place. He sought out those he must to gain back that which he needed.

In the real world, his mind traveled through everything that he needed to do. Everything he had to do for the King. What he did that would change how Arthur looked at him for a time. To that moment when the battle became too hard and he could do nothing to stop what was coming. Nothing to change the outcome of the blast that would take away his friend for so long. But his mind traveled him back through that time. Until a voice came through to him. "The once and future king will rise when Albion's need is greatest and you must be there to meet him." With that he blinking back into the world that was supposed to be his. Had been his once but was no longer that. How he wished for the summer days were love filled the air and where Camelot was at its height despite what was coming for it. To when things could have been so much simplier if other paths had been chosen but they had created a place that was needed at the time and that time had passed when Arthur had died. They had built the foundations for them future but oh how people forgot it. How these generations one after another started to forget the old ways. Started to make the stories pass into legend. And then when they needed something else to believe choose to believe in the fantasy did he stir in his slumber did he care to stir in his slumber. He shook his head and continued his walk. Coming to the banks of the lake over looking the shores that lead to Avalon. if the words he had heard were true and the call to the lake had been true and not a figment of his own old imagination then he was about to get what he had wanted those many years ago. 


	5. He returns or does he?

Standing on the banks of the lake Merlin watches the water for any sign of life coming from them. He does not see the lady he does not see yet the mist. But then again he is sure he might be a few minutes to early for anything to start. If this is all but a fancy dream he would welcome it. The old hermit needed something to believe in. On top of that he had been waiting for so long. He had been woken from his own slumber in the woods even though he had seen the modern world around him. How he longed to be back in camelot. How he longed to see them all again. How he longed to find his once lover as well. Arthur at one point had believed he had, had feelings for Morgana. That might not have been entirely untrue but when he met Freya she was all that he had ever wanted. He could be exactly him with her and the powers didn't need to be hidden like they had needed to be on a daily basis. With her death he had lost a part of him in a way. He had been for a time though cheered some by Arthur never the same. One is never the same when love leaves you and your first love at that. Morgana's betrayal and his choice to kill her later. Everything was chalked up to the hardest things he had to do in his life. Deciding who's life to take and who's life to give. To act like a god when all he wanted was to protect and make Camelot the best that it could be. He sat down next to a tree as he waited. He saw no dragon but he could hear the call and words whispered on the wind. "Help the time has come. Great King please come." The voices of the wind whispered. And though magic had once again been forgotten there were enough he believed so that Arthur indeed could return. He looked down at the water from his spot by the tree. Trees had always given shade and comfort and they stood longer then most men. He was the exception to this rule it would seem.

The mist began to rise around him and at first he did not notice it. no he wasn't something he was meant to notice until it made sense for him to notice. His name was being called. Over and over again. "Merlin, Merlin come back to us we need you. Merlin please wake up." The words seeming odd the life he held seeming light as he finally realized the mist that was around him. He blinked a few times but was there really something that he could do about all of this. He kept blinking his eyes to figure out what it was he was seeing. He blinked a few more times and then he was laying on the ground looking up. There before him stood Arthur with a smile on his face. Next to him stood Gwen and next to her stood Freya. The summer breeze reached his cheeks as Arthur helped him up. He looked around them and Arthur smiled. "We've finally done it. Your right magic isn't a bad thing. I'm sorry that I doubted you my friend. If it had not been for it we would not be standing her now. Not all of it was bad." Merlin blinked once again a smile on his face. They were by the banks of the lake and he could see his reflection there. He stood as he had been when he sent Arthur off to Avalon the resting place. He looked at his friends remembering in summer many things happened when it came to life. Though death was usually dealt at the end of the year when the leaves died and the world became frost covered. It took him a moment to open his mouth. "No need my King. I would stand by your side regardless of your decision on magic. I will always be by your side." Arthur smiled at him embracing him in a hug. "Yes I know. You are the best friend and best advisor a King could have. Come let us make way for Camelot. It is time for a celebration. Albion will flurish but first we have things to do." Merlin looked at him with a smile as Freya stood at his side.

He embraced her kissing her softly as they walked off hand in hand with Arthur and Gwen. He stopped for only a moment to see two someone's lurking in the corner. He knew these two but for now he would pay them no mind. He would just nod his head. For he figured where the others were so would those who tried to destroy be. However, this was there time and regardless of who they were he knew better then to fall for the trap at the moment. He turned away and walked towards Camelot. The gates were grand and the people within joyous. There was dancing going on and fires burning. It was the time of year for midsummer. For play and games and for looking to the end of the year and the harvest time. It was time for those to make rededications and to make sure that everything would be well for the fall harvest. he took a breath as they all entered. Cheers rose up from the crowd. "The Great Merlin joins us once again. We've been waiting." Merlin only smiled. Perhaps the Great Dragon had been wrong but he doubted it. There was always things that needed to be done before the prophecy could be fulfilled. He would need to teach Arthur the ways of the new world but to do that they would need to be in their world and this was there world. Camelot would change over time and he would show Arthur and Gwen what needed to be done. After all Arthur was the Once and Future king and Albion's need was great but it was not at its greatest point just yet.

He turned to freya as the music began to play and the smell of strawberries or rather the smell of summer wafted into his nostrils. "my darling you are smiling like a mad man are you alright?" Merlin nodded his head. "Yes of course my love it had been to long." He said with a smile on his face. He turned to sweep her off her feet and dance with her and then slowly the times changed and the seasons went through. His mind playing melodies and dramas before him and then it stopped the spinning and again on the bank of the lake he stood. A smile on his face now was the time. Now it was time for things to begin truly. or was it as he stood there he blinked and in his room in camelot he returned. His head spinning. He looked up to see Gaius before him. "Are you alright Merlin?" The older man questioned him. He shook his head a little bit. "Oh its nothing Gaius is Arthur alright?" he questioned the older man. "As always merlin. The summer fires are still burning why don't you go and join the party." Merlin nodded his head. he walked out of the Gaius' chambers but turned for a moment. "I had a dream. A rather odd dream but i wonder if its more than just that." Gaius only smiled. "you never know my son after all life likes to play games with us and your power is far greater than my own." A knowing smirk came across the old man's face. "Now you go enjoy yourself this old man needs some rest." Merlin only nodded and headed out. The summer breeze hitting him as he did so. This was where he belonged where he always belonged but for how long? And what part of this was true and what part wasn't. he turned almost running into Morgana. "Merlin are you alright?" She questioned him and he merely smiled. "I'm fine are you." She shook her head for only a moment. "I will be" She said softly and they both headed for the party but a part of him was cautious and he wasn't exactly sure why but it didn't matter. Life wasn't supposed to make sense as he was finding out.

A legend will rise again and Albion will be saved! For it is time for Legends to become reality.


End file.
